Tuesday night is date night with my wife and last night we decided to go see “Up In the Air” the latest George Clooney movie. It was a great movie and got me thinking about life, purpose and what if. I don’t know if it is true but my thought is that most people don’t live their dream, they stop striving toward their ideal and settle for bringing home a paycheck.
I started thinking about my future when I was very young, I dreamed about traveling across the country in a big rig, when I hit high school I dreamed of becoming a chef and by my senior year I had caught a creative bug and planned to spend my life in graphic communications. In 1983 my dreams changed to making a difference worldwide and wanted to become a missionary so I went to bible college and have spent the last two decades serving in a variety of ministry capacities. All have been fulfilling because I decided to invest in my personal growth and to seek change.
This brings me to my current thought. Why aren’t you pursuing your dreams? Somewhere along the line you stopped dreaming and gave into the routine of living from paycheck to paycheck. While I can’t prove it most have fallen into this routine because they have spent themselves into a corner. Most have established a lifestyle that is dependent on that job you can’t stand and feel trapped. You have a million excuses as to why you can’t do anything else and you are stuck.
Most of those who are stuck in life are stuck in cement called fear. In the movie you have the opportunity to see the responses of people who have spent their lives giving themselves to a job only to find out that after all that sacrifice they are losing that career. Their fear is played out for all of us to see. “What will I do now, how will I pay my mortgage, what will I tell my kids, what will they think of me, I’m too old to start looking for a new job, my life is over.” Condensed the fear is “who am I” and “how will I survive”
So let’s go there, what is standing in the way of your dream, what is keeping you shackled to an unfulfilled life?
What would happen if you lost your job today? It might make it worth it if it was really George Clooney setting across the table but it won’t be. Imagine that today the HR department calls you in and tells you that your job is no longer available or that big contract goes away. What would you do after you freaked out, got angry and pissed off and spent the next weeks or months wiping the depression droll from your mouth? First back up, think about how you could respond in a positive way that wouldn’t rob you of your creativity and love of life and family. What are the new options and possibilities?
One way to discover these new options and possibilities is to face the fear front on. A way of doing this is to think about the worst case scenario, what is the worst that could happen. My worst case would be to lose everything, my house, my cars, and my savings. At the end of the movie you have the opportunity to see and listen to people as they discover that the sum total of their lives was not their jobs but that they still had their family.
Now my worst case is no longer the worst that could happen. In this exercise you discover that the consequences are not as bad as the cloud of fear that surrounds it. All of a sudden you are able to discover alternatives. If I lost everything I have family that would take me in and the basics of my survival could be managed, food, housing and clothing so that I could start all over again. Even if I didn’t have family I could go to a temporary shelter and find help for the basics while I rebuilt my life; we discovered this in “The Pursuit of Happyness.”
I would be free to dream again, what would I do with my life if I could start over? Would I take some classes, start my own business and become my own boss, get additional training for a different career or maybe find a career in the area I originally trained for in college.
Now, instead of having this forced upon you through a layoff or firing why not choose. Why not choose to leave the situation you feel trapped in. When you accomplish this mentally you will have such an empowering sense of freedom. Your mind will now be free to imagine the possibilities God has placed in front of you. Begin writing down some of the steps that come to mind and start putting them into action. You don’t have to know every single step; you just need to get started. If you are ready to pursue a dream and that will require you to leave your current position then some of those steps might be to create an emergency fund by cutting your spending and putting money aside for your dream every paycheck.
Remember no matter how tough things are there is always a solution, what are yours?
Can I do this in past? I know it isn’t fair. But, if the trip in-hind-sight is helpful to someone, it might save you some side-trips of your own along the way. If you find you self working, working, working, even doing church work, AND doing so much GOOD work for a PAY-CHECK, you don’t find time for the BEST, then read this:
I knew I was call to preach/pastor when I was 12 years old. I was offered a full ride to OCU, and I turned it down, for any number of reasons, but in part I was not ready to work on the preaching and needed to try some other things. My dream was to teach at the secondary level and pastor churches in the area. I work my way through SMSU and began teaching at 21 and began preaching at 22. I was very soon in the “got-a-have-a-PAY-CHECK mode.” I found my self with a wife, two sons, in a mobil home about 2 counties away form GB chruches. I decided to move back into the GB associations area. I left teaching and went to social work where promotions were offered and taken as fast as possible, the leading to several moves but within the GB area. My dream took a turn of a few degrees and I began to check our work in a related area of “social work,” a boy’s ranch, Juvenile Officer,. extension MU youth work, and had offers in these areas but was AFRAID to move from my good job with Family Services where I knew I could do the work. I was doing lots of GOOD work but failing to enjoy the BEST and that being “being” alone with God as I should. Working out of a half or lest tank.. I was restless with were I was. I continued preaching and had planted a church in Ozark.
I considered more education and applied for a program where DFS would pay for a masters (MSW) if I agreed to work for them a number of years. A was approved with DFS and placed on a waiting list at K-State Soc.-Work Program. This would require acceptance in to the program by K-State. They placed me on a waiting list, I was going to leave the Church I had founded, the area of GB and move to another state and maybe plant another church. The idea was good for it would soon increase my PAY-CHECK. However, I continued to pray hoping for the school to call, when I got a letter, stating I would not be accepted. What were we to “do”? I never realized I needed to “be’ and learn to “be” more and more with God. I worked hard, learned along the way and understood a good deal about human behavior.. in the area of soc. work.
Brenda continued to do what she was so very good at, taking care of all of us: we lived in a clean house, good food, paying bills and given us the needed prayer support. She was much better at “Being” with God than I was, for I was to busy “doing”. I was sure I could not do all I was doing with out the good support she gave all of us.
By this time, we were living in a log home, in the log home business, going broke.
Somewhat unhappy with the day to day, politically “tainted” mid-management level job. The work with the church was more and more challenging and I contributed the challenge to lack of time for the church. If I could only “do”more I would feel better. If I was not going to get a MSW, I had to make do with DFS & church work. I felt incomplete, but my dad was saying you have a good job with a good PAY-CHECK. I was driven by “doing” many things, building Camp Mission Point; being camp director which began as young as 19 in White River Association; President of the CMP board; President of the Home Mission Board at Popular Bluff; some revival work….; driven to “do,” and failing to “be” what I needed to “be” in my relationship with God.
My protestant work ethic drove me to make a living, and it was now driving me in my Christian work. I was “used” up, and in many ways empty, but I had to keep going and “doing.” I took little or no time along with God. I was trying to feed others but failing to be fed by God.
I found myself using all my time at work DFS, giving God a few hours on the weekend, cause I had-to-have-a GOOD-PAY-CHECK. I tried to get rich, Amay, Comsumer Express, and three more such games. I wanted to be free to work with the church and church related positions. If I could “do” more then I would feel more complete.
I longed for a full time pastor position but felt I could not afford to make the move. I looked like if I found a good paying chruch it would mean some 10 to 12000 less in pay. My sons are now in upper high school and early college age, requiring more money to provide for them. I was considered for a full time church, a real reduction in pay, less (PAY-CHECK), BUT free form the DFS work which changed every time a new governor was elected. It was in Springfield, we would be staying in the area, and my oldest son was nearing college age. God placed a major call on my life and I took the pastorate knowing how we would live for only 6 months. Through a car wreck, getting an older car (Payment free) and the churches generosity with continual raises, and Pell grants for the boys, we made it.
I was in “heaven.” I loved having all week to work on sermons, and finding many ways, all church related, to fill my week. I had lots of things to “do”. It was not the PAY-CHECK that kept me here, but I often thought about needing more. Along the way I felt the need to be able to “get-in-to” the Greek language; this meant more education. After 8 years pastoring, I sought out seminary. I couldn’t go now, an have 3 of us in college, I could not afford. When the boys about to finish college, I took it more seriously and with a clear call of God, and my families full support, I applied at Asbury and was accepted. We sold our home, lived up the profit and all other small savings in the first year in seminary, but that was ok. Brenda and iknew we could start all over in an apartment and make it. I had been saying that for years, but now I was going to live it.
Is seminary, I found myself believing this is where I should have been a long time ago. I was so blessed, loved the school work and was making good grades, and the boys were doing fine. I took time to be alond with God, I had to, to make good grades. My classes call for things I had never done. All the experience I had as a pastor gave me “pegs” on which to hang the things I was learning. I did not think I would return to a Pastorate, but what would I do? I finished 90 hour master (M-div) in 3 years and got a full scholarship to go another year for a D-Min. and adding 2 years for dissertation. I had learned some things about being alone with God and began to practice them. I felt full and running over, not the on a half to empty tank on which I had live so man years. All of seminary was good and was a great opportunity, but maybe would have been better some 20 years earlier.
After three years I was involved in by doctoral dissertation work. It was a project with GB I had chosen to do. By the time is was finished, I was in Springfield planting a church and sensing a call to denominational work. I didn’t realy sense a call for church planting, but it was “work” and many things to “do” and had a PAY-CHECK and many challenges and blessings, I felt it was something I could “do,” and the new church was growing a young families were returning to church through us. We were considered the fastest growing new church in the denomination. I was trying some of the things I had learned in seminary about reaching the unchurch and it was working. Life was good, but I was not where I thought God would leave me or eventually place me.
Many “important,”peple, important without a capital “i, ” said and promoted the idea of me having a job in the new system with GB. I felt a sense of call form God like that when I started Church in Ozark, when I help start the camp building for Mission Point, when I took the Church full time in Springfield, and when I went to seminary. I wept and prayed that I would do what God wanted me to do. As time went on, even this new system for GB became very political, (church political) which the worst kind. Various religions/politicians began to distant them selves from me while others moved closer. One particular man would call me a question me about what I would do “if”… Any-way I was urged to apply for a position, and I applied, but did not get the job, because I had been involved in making the changes for which the new system would call. Later I understoon many of things that were happening as very political. I felt that with many of the people and ideas that now in place, I could not work for the GB in a denominational job. I questioned God, was crushed by what I thought were friends in the denomination. Later I believed and others believed that God had a plan A, but when GB went the way they did, he allowed them live out plan B or C. Some of my best friends were set aside and people put into position that would not take the denomination the direction I believed God wanted it to go. Where was God in all of this? Then I was reminded of Israel’s cry for a “king” and God allow them to have one. Israel lived out their plan not Gods. He allows us to have what we want sometimes, even though it is not His perfect will. This idea of (God’s perfect will verse His permissive will) has been lived out in my life over an over so its not new to me. The new staff at Poplar Bluff had bigger PAY-CHECKS than I, but God made a way as he always does. I have been blessed in many ways by not being a part of the GB denominational staff. Maybe God allowed a good or better thing come my way.
Now, as a church planter I had a demising PAY-CHECK, had to work other part time jobs. But, God has seen Brenda and I through it all to retirement and now the PAY-CHECK comes in the mail box, supplemented with teaching income.
I don’t give much time thinking about all that at this point in my life. God has blessed me with a plan that has worked for me. I live in the same town my grandchildren do, and I teach rel. part time on the college level with get great satisfaction and a productive ministry with some 60 – 80 students (parishionners) who have to attend services. More than 1/2 of them are not believers and others are not active in church. I have never had a congregation with that mix.
Note: the attention the PAY-CHECK gets in the above story. Learn form the “doing” rather than “being” idea. Learn to be lone with God regularly and you will be blessed no matter where God allows you to be placed. I know a missionary who said to me a number of years ago, that he believed God’s call was not so much “geographical” as “Finding what your hands find to do where you are, or brighten the corner where you are.” In hind site, these conclusions may “be right-on” John
wow! I didn’t mean to shut the blog down…